Everywhere and Now...

To a fellow student at USF

2010-03-29T18:54:00.001-04:00

The following is a letter I wrote to a fellow student in my Fiction I class at USF. I wrote this letter after I had read a very negative review written by this student on one of my short stories. I did not send the letter to the student because I did not want to start a big conflict in class. I changed the students name to protect their identity and also because I am a coward. If I had a bit more courage, perhaps this is what I would have responded with.

Dear Pat,

First, I would like to thank you for reviewing my story and taking the time to read it. I think it was very obvious that the majority of our class did not read any of the stories that entire week. Sure, they may have been busy but more than likely they were just lazy. As most people know, the majority of English students are only here because their parents are forcing them to go to college; they actually have no interest in becoming published authors or being involved in the written word in any sense. These students will go on to do less with their English Creative Writing degrees than those students who actually want to become writers, which would considerably less than the average Financial Accounting student.
Still, I’m getting off topic. I wanted to comment on your review of my story, “A Society in Perspective.” I’m glad someone finally had the courage to say they didn’t like a story; we spend so much time in class with everyone making up reasons for why they like someone’s story, when we’re all thinking of how bad it is. You, you had the courage to say you didn’t like my story, and I’m happy for that. You even provided me with a list of reasons why you didn’t like it, which I was grateful because it will make the last line of my letter to you mean so much more.
I was prepared to write you a longwinded explanation on how you missed the entire meaning of the story, that you didn’t look deep enough into the action and only saw what was happening on the surface. I wanted to explain to you how you were correct that certain parts were cliché, but they were cliché because they represented more than just flesh and bone figures; they represented ideas. You were right about the dialogue, it was very unbelievable, and I wanted to spend pages explaining that it was unbelievable on purpose because the characters are allegories and I want their dialogue to be over the top. However, I realized what I wanted to do was make you like a story you didn’t like, and that was wrong of me. I don’t have to defend my story against you, and you don’t have to defend your review against me. This whole thing, it’s just our opinions and they cannot be right or wrong, it is just what we believe. So I won’t write you a ten page essay explaining why you’re wrong and I’m right, because I’m not right, but either are you.
So, if I could say anything in response to your review what do you think it would be Pat? Would I say thank you? Thank you for being honest? No, because you should be honest anyway and to thank you for it would imply that you’re doing some kindness when you’re not. Should I write a long literary paper, that is very polite and well thought out, and try to convince you that your review is wrong? Of course not, because you’re entitled to your own opinion as everyone else. So, as one college student to another, as a colleague to a fellow colleague, or as a writer to a writer I say, “You are stupid and I hope you die.”

Love
John Fisher

The state of my creativity at the moment...

2009-03-01T06:20:00.004-05:00

Sorry

2009-02-18T11:23:00.001-05:00

about my lack of posting.
Been very busy,
with numerous projects.
Hopefully more posting
by the other contributors?
Eh?

A Simple Mistake

2009-02-12T15:05:00.004-05:00

I stabbed a man the other day

I didn't mean to do it

It, was an accident

An honest mistake

Or least I didn't see myself doing it yesterday

that makes it an accident

Right?

There was hesitation at first

So I have to have a conscience

I mean, I'm not a bad person

I just made a mistake

As the knife went in I immediately felt horrible

I was like,

"Oh my God! What am I doing!"

When he died I buried him.

I'm not like those other people who just toss them in a ditch

I had compassion!

I'm not them!

I'm them, but I'm not them!

We all make mistakes!

I don't feel guilty, because I know in my heart I made a simple mistake

Simple Mistake? What makes your mistake so simple?

A mistake is when you simply do something you didn't mean to do. Its simple as that. We ALL make mistakes!

I feel you're confusing simplicity with ignorance and denial. Many of us here have made mistake, but NONE of us have made the "SIMPLE" mistake of killing someone. Because WE know that committing "SIMPLE" mistakes like your leads to "COMPLICATED" consequences, like the one you are experiencing now.

Your honor, I no further questions for the defendant.

The Defendant may leave the stand.

I know they will hang me for this one...

2009-02-05T17:01:00.002-05:00

I don't want to go into a long blog about this, because I know you probably don't want to spend a whole day reading what I think; so lets keep this short. MCR released a video recently for their cover of Bob Dylan's "Desolation Row" and you can go here to see and hear it...

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=51474710

And you should try to catch the original version if you can here...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RenHNO19XKs

Now I am the FIRST one to say, Bob Dylan is the GOD of folk music and a real poet, and that MCR is an abomination to the entire music industry and the GODs of pretentious, emo, out of key, nonsensical lyrics, ear raping "music." With all that said (truly this next part is hard for me to say), I like their cover of Desolation Row. (Please fell free to gasp and yell at your computer screen now.) Hear me out for a minute before you nail me to the cross. I like their cover because it pretty much does not resemble the original, it's fairly punk, and it may get people listening to more Bob Dylan.

Like I said, I did like it because it had nothing to do with the original, except for the lyrics. I have a big problem with covers, because the majority of them tend to sound so similar to the original it makes me think to myself, "Why don't I just listen to the original?" However, MCR took this song, and they made it their own so I can respect that they didn't think they should play anything resembling a folk song.

Also, the song just sounded pretty punk. Punk music is more or less dead in America, dead, dead, dead. Punk somehow became emo, and emo music sucks. Yet, this song was punk, I liked it, it was raw, it was fast, the singer sounded like shit, and it just made you feel like jumping around in combat boots all pissed off.

Finally, the main reason I like this cover, is because of what I saw on the youtube comments for the Bob Dylan original. So many kids are coming to youtube to hear the original, and many of them seem to be enjoying it. This gives me hope, that maybe a few kids will go out and by a Dylan album, and then show their friends the album, and their friends will show their friends, and so on until even more people know of the magic that is Bob Dylan.

Clean Off Your Goddamn Car

2009-01-26T15:56:00.002-05:00

We've been the victim of several snow storms over the past couple months in the Northeast. These snowfalls remind me of something that pisses me off each and every season: These asshole drivers that don't clean the fucking snow off their cars. Seriously, is it that hard to do?

Granted, I'm a little biased since I drive a somewhat small car, but I still see people with the same size cars as me driving around with a foot of snow on the roof and a little window carved out on the windshield so they can see. If you're in that much of a hurry that you can't clean you're f'ing car off then either invest in a garage or get up earlier.

This goes doubly for those douchebags that drive around in their SUVs. We felt a little sorry for you this summer when gas was so f'ing expensive, but you're probably laughing your ass off now as you're driving over mountains and shit while I'm spinning my wheels in my driveway. Well, if you're able to sit up on your giant driver's seat, then you should be able to clean that snow off the roof too. I understand that you've probably never seen a big sheet of ice fly off a truck and come careening at your tiny Hyundai going 60 miles an hour on the highway because you tower over us normal-sized car owners, but take an extra minute to get that shit off of there.

Don't boo-hoo about not being able to reach it either. That's no fucking excuse. There are step ladders, brooms and big extendable ice scrapers that are made just for dumbasses like you so grab one and get to work.

So please. Have some common fucking courtesy this winter and clean the snow off your fucking car before you get on the road. I took the time to take care of my car. I don't need your lazy snow flying onto mine because you're an asshole.

Comic Book Fanboys Are The Worst

2009-01-13T15:24:00.003-05:00

I'll be the first to admit that I love comic books. I'm all over the funny pages. My screenname is "Batman McAwesome" and up until a couple months ago, I had a regular pull list at my local comic shop consisting of about 40 titles. That being said, I f'ing hate comic book fans. I can't stand them. They're probably the worst type of fan out there. They're obsessive and none of their opinions are based on any sort of fact. They're just a huge pain in the ass.

It's this reason that I try to limit my time spent in comic book stores. Now, for the most part, the owners and cashiers of these shops are pretty cool. You can joke with them and have actual conversations with them that don't consist solely of quotes from Futurama and what kind of underpants Wonder Woman wears. I just can't tolerate nerds. I get in there, grab my books, and I'm out the door before the dorks nearby have a chance to spout out why they'd punch Shia LaBeouf in the face (meanwhile deep down inside, they'd probably just request an autograph and ask him what BumbleBee is really like). I just can't deal with it.

That's the problem facing the comic book industry. Sure, there are 70+ years worth of stories ranging from superhero tales to stuff for little kids and adults, but the "comic book nerd" stereotype will stick with it for years to come. I doubt I'll see the day when graphic novels are considered actual literature or at the very least not looked down upon. Shit just won't happen because of all these crazy dorks out there writing fan-fiction and yelling at people because they buy Marvel or DC comics (Ask any comic book dork and there's bound to be a deep seeded hatred of one of the big two).

As I mentioned above, I have no qualms about my status as a dork, however there's a big difference between me as a dork and the kind of dorks that lurk around the comic book shop playing HeroClix and scaring off customers. I can talk about comic books until the cows come home, but I also recognize that not everyone can rattle off quotes from Family Guy or knows the names of all the Green Lanterns assigned to Sector 2814, so I can have a normal conversation with people. F'ing nerds.

Junior's Dream

2009-01-03T01:32:00.004-05:00

I had a crazy dream during my Junior Year of high school where I was cutting my left hand, with a giant steak knife. I started with my fingers tips and worked my way up to my wrist, cutting the hand into half-inch slivers. I then picked up the cutting board--fingers, nails, class ring and all, and began scraping them into a wok. I nonchalantly watched the the food, er--I mean fingers sizzle in the peanut oil as they hit the pan. The aroma was alluring and captivating. My eyes focused on the red meat as it became engrossed in heat, oil and my undivided attention. I just stared and stared and stared.

I was riding the kind of bicycle a 1940s Dublin mailman might of used when delivering his mail, down a dirt path. To my right, left, and above my head were incestuous trees that kept me enclosed, so that I could only head toward a bright white northern light. The path I was riding my bicycle down could barley fit my handlebars, or my head, and I was pedaling so vigorously that my velocity was greater than that of a 1990s Dublin mailman, eating a cliff bar while pedaling at top speed towards the nearest pub. I kept pedaling and pedaling towards the light to grow closer, but it was to no avail. I didn't get closer and nor did the light grow farther, instead the bike was stationary, and the roof and wall made of entangled trees moved, giving the illusion of movement. A tree branch hit me in my face.

As I was dreaming these dreams, I felt as if I was able to view the dream from afar, as well as in the first person. At the same time I was able to see myself sleep in my bed. It was like I was practicing some sort of mediation. Vipassana?

We're tonight's entertainment....

2008-12-31T11:53:00.005-05:00

Right, suppose I should write something original in this ol' blog. Well for those of you who do not know, my name is John Fisher, or Fish for those who feel so inclined to call me Fish. Oh, and before you ask, yes YOU can call me Fish; I only say this because you would not believe how many times people have asked me if it is okay to call me Fish, of course it is because it is my nickname. Oh, and for the record, if you're dumb enough to want to ask why my nickname is Fish, than you have no business talking to other human beings in the first place.

A little history about me is, I dislike mostly everything in the entire world that ever did or does exist. I am not a friendless, cynical bastard however, or at least I would like to think I am not. I have some really close friends, all of whom I can count easily on one hand, I would say I have five, five people who I sincerely "like" to be around Oh and if you have to ask your self, "Am I one of those five?" then let me save you some time and just say, no you are not.

Why do I dislike mostly everything? I do approach most situations with a bad out look already. You see, to me I look at everything as being bad, or not worth my time the instant I interact with it. Once I have come in contact with anything, something, it is then up to what ever it is I have interacted with to prove to me that it is worth my time and is something I would like.

Example:
Even for bands I like, when I listen to a new song or album by a band I enjoy, I instantly assume it will be awful, it is then up to that band to prove to me that it is still a good band to listen to, and something I would like.
Example over.

I'm explaining all this because Thomas Nudi told me to use this blog for whatever, for reviews, writings, rants, whatever. So, I just want it to be clear, when I review something it means one of two things, One, it proved to me it was worth a damn, or Two, it could not show me any reason to like it. This does not mean that you will not enjoy whatever it is I am reviewing, just that I did not. However, do not worry, I will always try to back my information up with examples or actual reverences if need be, I will not make random observations and general statements. Though I do hate everything, I give everything a chance to prove to me it is worth liking; sadly though that rarely happens.

So, now that this is all out of the way, I will not make my first review here. No, not on a movie, book, band, or....well anything else. No, I will be judging acting, and I am sure by the end of what I have to say, no one will agree with me and some people may hate me, so it goes.

If I had to pick one performance that pissed me off more than any other this year, I could answer that with out question. I do not mean one performance that was "bad", I am not here to judge acting talent, and in fact the most frustrating performance of the year that I saw was easily the best as well. No, I do not want to judge acting talent, but simply say what one performance angered me the most out of all others in 2008. Easily and without question, Heath Ledger's portrayal of The Joker in The Dark Knight. I now hate this character.

Before everyone freaks their shit, I will agree that Ledger's role as the Joker was easily one of the best performances of the season, yet no other role fills me with more hate. Why? I did not always hate Ledger's Joker, I loved it at first; but sadly so did everyone else in the entire world. Suddenly every teenager and manchild in the world has some Joker quote for their myspace and or facebook status. How many times did your friends or family do their crappy Joker impressions for you in a failed attempt at impress you? How much money did giant corporations like Hot Topic make off of impressionable teenagers by selling them cheaply made, very expensive Joker merchandise? How many douche bags did you see dressed as the Joker for Halloween? 3 at MCC alone was my count, what about you! Never was murder, madness, and makeup so popular.

AND I CAN'T FUCKING STAND IT!!!!
Sorry to swear, I really am, but I had to. I am angry that I can not change my myspace status to, "I'm not a monster, I'm just ahead of the curve..." because someone out there who looks at it is going to say, "Oh look, another teenager quoting the Joker, how original..." Though I do not care if people judge me, I do care when they judge me as someone I am not! I am not some teenager who thinks the Joker is the best thing on the planet. I am not the asshole continually saying, "why so serious" "It's all part of the plan" or "Good evening ladies and gentlemen..." I am not the one with the why so serious t-shirts. I am not the one who put on make up for Halloween so I could look like everyone else who saw The Dark Knight; I did not dye my hair green.

The reason I am mad at Heath Ledger's Joker is not because of Ledger at all, but because everyone in the world seemed to think it was the greatest thing on the planet and still will not stop talking about it, or doing crappy impressions. Christ! Ledger's performance was good, but it was not the end all be all of acting talent! It was a great performance though, and everyone talked about it too damn much, and they killed it, they drove it as hard as they could into the ground and they are still driving it deeper and deeper! They will not forget about it, not as long as some big company can find a way to make a buck off of all the hype.

I am pissed because I can not publicly say I enjoyed the Dark Knight with out someone immediately quoting a line the Joker said in the movie. I would kill to hear this happen...

Fish: "So I really like that Dark Knight movie"
Someone else: "Oh yeah that was good...*clears throat* 'People are dying Alfred what would you have me do?"'

But no, I always have to hear a Joke quote,; why? Because he's in, he's in with the hip crowd, the nerd crowd, the emo crowd, the goth crowd, the smart crowd, the dumb crowd, the jock crowd, the good people crowd, and especially the bad people crowd.

In closing, because fuck me this has gone on way too long. Maybe I am just an asshole and hate when the things I enjoy and like become popular. Yet, I believe there is a line between liking something and trying to show off you like something in order to impress other people, and that is what happened with Ledger's Joker. Every so often something comes along that people enjoy and have to tell everyone else they enjoy it so they can feel accepted. The worst part is, this did not make comic books any cooler, people still consider them lame. The people who wear the "why so serious?" shirts or any other Joker crap, the majority of them do not know the first thing about the Joker, Batman, Two Face, or any of this comic book jazz. Obviously not everyone who claims they like the Joker character and the Dark Knight movie are assholes, but a lot of them are just along for the ride, and next year something new and shiny will come out and that Joker t-shirt goes in the back of the closet and is never put on again, and that sucks. It sucks that such a great performance will just be forgotten like that by most people because it was the cool thing to get behind. It is a shame that people can not just like something, they can not just enjoy what they enjoy quietly; no the majority of people have to tell the world what they like, they have to make sure every single person they come in contact with knows they like this movie, that band, this show, this food, this drink, this place, or this whatever. It is all about impressing people in the end, all this Joker shit, it is about trying to make other people see that you are as cool as they are. This is going to sound messed up but I am glad Heath Ledger is dead, because I do not think he would want to see what became of his character. He did not work so hard on the Joker so a 13 year old private school GIRL who has never even stepped foot in a comic books store or has even seen a movie that was not a "teen movie", could dress up like his Joker and go to a high school party, get drunk of wine coolers and get drilled by some drunk asshole on his parents bed while she's passed out and helpless. At least, I hope he didn't work so hard on the Joker for that...

Greetings from the real world

2008-12-31T10:53:00.001-05:00

So Nudi was getting on me about not posting to this blog yet so I thought I would go ahead and post an old poem of mine to get the ball rolling on my end. So here you are party people...

Beautiful White Dove

Sweet youth you fall just short of angels
You are a fulgent inspiring dove
Swooping with grace high up above, my eyes
That are the tint of gold, I am the crow
Who flies awkwardly, close to the ground
Overjoyed, am I to see you ravishing dove,
Your beauty is equal to your poise.
Return you do to perch with me the crow,
You are a girl of baffling beauty,
I am shocked to know you are with me.
I am a moribund crow who is tender
Underneath this rough exterior you see.
Inculpable saint you make my soul content,
Wish it to last, my sweet fragile dove.

An Observation: Tears

2008-12-31T06:03:00.003-05:00

Sometimes when you yawn
a tear or two falls from the corner of your eye.
There's probably some scientific explanation for it
but I like to think, that in the back of your mind,
there's something sad you can't recognize that's causing it.
Those occasional tears are the perfect company to the yawn,
as whatever was planning on making you sad will be resolved
in a dream soon to come.
You just won't have to deal with it awake.

-----------

Also, please welcome our newest contributor L.D. Knowlton... The "L" stands for Lieutenant Doug Knowlton...

No it doesn't. I just made that up.

I am so sorry.

Keep readin' we'll keep postin'.

- Nudi

Grindin' Gears: Flushing Urinals

2008-12-30T11:05:00.002-05:00

So I drink a lot of water throughout the course of any given work day. This sends me to the bathroom on numerous occasions. I don't mind all that much because it gets me up and moving around. Unfortunately, more often than not, I end up getting to the men's room and just getting pissed off. (I guess in this case it really is a lot better than being pissed on, but still)

I just hate the fact that people can't seem to figure out or are too goddamn lazy to flush the fucking urinal. Seriously, is it that hard to do? I always thought that was a common courtesy, especially in a public restroom. I mean, if you're a guy, you know how absolutely disgusting it is to get to a urinal and find a puddle of dark, stinky piss waiting for you. Delightful, isn't it?

That's what I'm trying to say. You're supposed to wash your hands and I understand when people might be a little germaphobic and might not want to touch the handle, but you've gotta wash your hands anyway! It's not like you're going to catch some rare Caribbean dick slug from flushing the goddamn urinal. It takes two seconds and you can even do it with one finger.

So please, do all us guys a favor and flush the fucking urinal. I know you must be busy if you didn't have time to do it before, but I'm asking you as a fellow man, flush it, asshole.

Well it has been about a week...

2008-12-24T05:25:00.003-05:00

since the blog has been up and running.

I'm still contemplating on other things to add to it.

We have many new members. Aside from the ones you already know: Myself, Dr. Gorchheimer, Chris Ess... We have Chance Gardener writing here as well... A very mysterious man to say the least. James Ferguson, a friend from The Bullet Point Review. Also my pal Fish who has jumped on the bandwagon, his exact quote to me was: "I want to be popular too."

See, if you join up, you'll be popular... And people will love you. If people already love you then... Well, I guess you have nothing to worry about. Needless to say it'd be nice to hear from you anyway, since it's been so long since we talked... Huh?

Enough of my babbling and my senseless and worthless stream of words I put together trying to pass off as well-written sentences. To you readers, get readin' and to my fellow contributors get writin'... and to those of you who want to join up and write, get joinin'.

There's meaning in this post somewhere, I promise.

Love,
Thomas

P.S. Check out the bottom of the page. There's this nifty little button that lets you donate money and stuff (Well, actually just money.) Anyway, I put it there so any visitors could donate whatever they wish so we could work towards some nice features like a domain name. Just a thought...

Grindin' Gears: Audi Drivers

2008-12-17T15:47:00.004-05:00

You know what really pisses me off? These douchebags that drive around in their Audis. I have yet to see someone driving one of these cars that isn't a complete asshole. Whether they're cutting people off or not signaling to change lanes or just speeding up and tailgating me, somehow all Audi drivers are douchebags.

How does something like this happen? Is there an application that you have to fill out if you want to buy one of these cars? Is there a series of asshole tests that you have to pass before you're given the keys? There are probably questions about how you'd steal candy from babies, punch old women or sell drugs to grade school students. I just don't understand how an entire customer base can suck so damn much.

Can you imagine if something like this were to happen for another type of product? What if everyone that eats bananas was a complete cockgobbler? Well...that might work given the phallic nature of said product, but you get what I mean. You'd be in line at the supermarket when all of a sudden this banana lover would start stomping his feet behind you getting all huffy about having to wait on line to buy his fucking bananas. Then he'd probably start pushing your stuff out of the way so he can put his fruit on the conveyor belt and he'd probably yell at you, the guy in front of you and the cashier. Then when he finally got up to the front, he'd snatch his receipt up and storm out of the building. Fucking bananas.

To get the ball rolling...

2008-12-17T02:04:00.003-05:00

I thought I'd write a little piece of micro-fiction with a twist, I had to write it within ten minutes. This is what I got:

She had a pretty face, a nice body, she spoke well and everyone wondered how she ended up where she was now. She didn't keep in contact with any of her old friends anymore, none of them could find her listed anywhere in the phone book or on the internet. She seemed to drop off the face of the Earth. She was still there though, she went by the name of Blu now. Everything about her was blue, her hair, her eyes, the vinyl clothing she wore. She was a walking cliche of a whore. She sold her time to amateur "filmmakers" so they could abuse her and degrade her in every way possible, sometimes she came home with bruises, black-eyes, a bloody nose, her mascara running down her cheeks and a sense of cheapness about her. She hadn't talked to her parents in two years, not since she graduated high school. She didn't want to go to college, it wasn't necessary for what she wanted. She got paid well and just had to take a little punishment here and there. When it came down to it, she only needed to do two jobs a month to keep her cozy upscale Manhattan apartment and everything else she could ever dream of. She was infatuated with the idea of pleasing herself more than anyone else, that's where her sense of pride came from. Though after every job, that pride dissipated and she ended up curling up in her thousand dollar comforter and sheets as if they were a nest and let the remnants of the blood spill out of her and the still dripping mascara run onto the bed. At the end of the day her movies were being sold on street corners and the guys who made them were netting quadruple what she made being in them. Every night walking into her building the security guard winked at her, the winks seemed extra strong when she looked a mess. One thing she never did was clean herself up after a shoot, she just got up, put on her clothes and left. The stains and marks were a badge for her, she deserved whatever she got, at least she thought so. Regardless of the industry she was in she always considered herself a realistic thinker. "Why hide from the public what they'll probably end up seeing anyway?" she continually thought to herself. She was disillusioned. She didn't have a partner, a boyfriend, a husband, she didn't think she deserved one. "I'm a whore, I profit from my mistakes." she would say to herself looking in the mirror. She lived a lonely life, she always would, she knew no one wanted her, because she only had her body to give. She was a realistic thinker.

Everywhere and Now

2008-12-16T03:56:00.002-05:00

We have three writers working on the blog currently. We'd love to have more, feel free to e-mail any of us and we'll be sure to add you as a team member, but please be sure to follow these rules:

- You must be 18 or older.
- You must have some sort of background in writing, art, film, music... Anything creative really and provide an example of your work.
- You must be willing to write at least one entry a week.

Not too hard, right? So let's see some people out there who want to funnel their creativity into something productive submit their "applications". We want this blog to cover a wide range of everything possible and for that we need a wide range of people with different outlooks, attitudes, locations, looks, scenes, whatever. This is EVERYWHERE AND NOW!

Also welcome our newest team member: Chris "Ess"

I promise to have this blog up and running fully by the new year.

- Nudi